Vixen Vine: Sexual Influence of the Early 2000s

Yelena: [00:00:00] welcome to Vixen Vine, where Foxes tell their stories and give advice. 

Alyssa: I'm Melissa. And I'm Elena. And 

Lily: I'm Lily 

Yelena: Mac has cousins joining us today for our 2000 influence episode. So 

Alyssa: we were discussing how the 

Yelena: two thousands and two thousands and tens kind of influenced us as a person also like sexually as a person.

Yelena: And we're gonna get into that.

Alyssa: Yes, he is. I'm actually super excited about this topic because like thinking. It's just crazy how much the things that we see or hear about really truly influences us. Like who we are, how our sex lives are, how our body images are, how just so many different areas of our life. 

Yelena: And the thing is, is that it's always been there. It is just, I feel like the two [00:01:00]thousands and 2000 tens because the media and like television 

Alyssa: was just like at its prime, 

Yelena: that that's where it got the most influence on most people. Yeah. Cause I can see like the fifties and the sixties having like their magazines and all that.

Yelena: But yeah, like, what's an example? 

Lily: Teen mom, Twilight. Mm-hmm. . . Yeah. That's why there is a whole lot of sexual innuendos that you wouldn't notice until 

Alyssa: like you're older. 

Yelena: Older, yes. .

Lily: It's like, oh, what are they doing? How do they make a baby? Oh, that's how a baby is made. . 

Alyssa: Like, why is this bed 

Yelena: moving like that?

Yelena: Why is it so 

Alyssa: violent?

Yelena: Freaking teen mom though. I feel like that glorified teen pregnancy 

Alyssa: so much. Yes. Part of me like watching that show cuz I absolutely loved it. I am still team OG [00:02:00] Girls for Life, . But like it partially made me almost wanna get pregnant just to be on the show. Like it. I don't know if it was just me that felt that way, but like I got excited about it in a way.

Alyssa: And I know that it wasn't necessarily acceptable for how young I was. But seeing that on tv, seeing that they were 16 and pregnant and yeah, that there was like difficulties in their life, but you also got to see them become successful too. Mm-hmm. have fun with their kids and their family and it almost puts it in your head as if like it's a good idea or it's this awesome, amazing thing to do while you're still a child.

Alyssa: Right? 

Lily: Yeah. Like it's fun to start your family while you're still a kid yourself. Like, I mean it could be, but like it's not the same for everybody. 

Yelena: No, no it's not. And oh, what was her name that's on team 

Alyssa: Janelle? Mm-hmm. . Janelle. Yes. [00:03:00] Absolutely. 

Yelena: I feel like she had one of the more rough ones because of her mother, Janelle, if you hear this, I was team you, just so you know,

Yelena: I was obsessed with Janelle. She was just like this strong. Southern girl and I was like, heck yeah. She not taking crap from nobody that her mom. But then realizing like a lot of the things that she should have calmed down 

Lily: on . . 

Alyssa: I loved Macy as well. Like, oh, Macy, I feel like she was such a good role model in a way.

Alyssa: Like yeah, she got pregnant early and young and you watched her through this whole adventure, but she was just such a strong independent woman too, like mm-hmm. . But it kind like I said, kind of made me wanna be like, okay, let's go have kids. This is gonna be fun. Like I can do 

Yelena: this. My ex tried to get me pregnant.

Yelena: He wanted me on the show. the show was scary. , [00:04:00]

Lily: it was scary. Mm-hmm. . 

Yelena: Secret Life of American Teenager. . Mm-hmm. , that was a big one. I know we were too young to watch these, but I know for a fact what True Blood was in that mix. Grey's Anatomy. Grey's 

Alyssa: Anatomy.

Alyssa: Mm-hmm. . Pretty Little Liars. Definitely 

Yelena: Pretty Little Liars. Oh my God. Okay. So I love Pretty Low. I, I lo I want to read the books. I haven't read them yet, but want to, but I'm gonna, I know I'm gonna be disappointed with the show, , if I read the books and, but I loved the show so much, but even then when I came out, it glorified a teacher and student relationship.

Yelena: A power dynamic. Oh, 

Lily: yeah. I didn't think about it like that. It is a power dynamic because, they were in high school. Mm-hmm. and ezra. Mm-hmm. . That was, what was her name? Aria. Aria, 

Yelena: Yeah. Ezra. He fumbled the bag a few [00:05:00] times, but because he was so cute, everyone thought it was okay. It's like as soon as, someone gets a look at you, they always like assume like, Hey, this person probably is gonna tell me the truth, or this person's gonna probably tell me a lie all by their looks and their image, which brings it into how TV shows and everything like that.

Yelena: The two thousands, how that affected body image. 

Alyssa: Yes. Body image was huge for me growing up, not just because of all the stuff we would see on TV were if you weren't a size two or smaller as a woman, you would be considered plus size. Almost like there was no plus size models. Even for shows like American Idol, , you had to not only have the voice, but you had to have a specific look too.

Alyssa: And in all of these different TV shows, it almost held the beauty standard for girls so high. If you weren't a size two, [00:06:00] then you were fat. Mm-hmm. . If, if you didn't have like a perfectly symmetrical face, then you weren't pretty, it was awful. 

Yelena: And not to mention sizing and clothing is different across the country.

Yelena: Yes. Mm-hmm. . Absolutely. Like in California, my mom went to go visit and got me a pair of size nine pants. They didn't fit me. They fit my size. Ford friend. Yeah. 

Lily: It's, oh wow. I didn't know that. Yeah. I got some pants in Cali that were like size large, and they did not fit me. They were like super small and I was like, what the heck?

Lily: Yeah. Kelly sizes are different. Mm-hmm. . 

Alyssa: Mm-hmm. and, and it's like that not just all over the country, but all over the world too. Like beauty standards or they're just, They give people a complex, and it's ridiculous. For me, I struggled with my weight my entire life, and I always felt like I wasn't beautiful.

Alyssa: I wasn't good enough because I was always overweight to a point that when I was an adult, I was [00:07:00] still struggling with it so bad. From everything that I was taught as a child growing up from different shows and everything, that when I became an adult, I ended up getting weight loss surgery just so I would be more accepted in society just so I would feel more beautiful because I was smaller.

Alyssa: So I would have more of that normal body image that society puts on you. That we learned growing up in the two thousands. 

Yelena: I remember specifically the two hit girls of that era Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. and they were so overly sexualized as teenagers that we just thought it was okay.

Yelena: Mm-hmm. , and it was not.

Yelena: Hit me baby. 

Yelena: One more time. Same. 

Alyssa: The sad part is, is I looked up [00:08:00] to them so much. I remember being so excited getting their CDs, like growing up, listening to 'em on repeat, like wanting to be just like them and starting like my clothes and hair would even start modeling after them. I wanted to be like Mary Kate 

Yelena: and 

Alyssa: Ashley. Oh yes. I loved them too.

Yelena: Yeah, they, they, they, they didn't get overly sexualized as much as the others. Mm-hmm. , I will say that. But like with their last movie in New York Minute, they were, they were literally running through the streets with nothing. Add Yeah. They had just towels cuz they had a whole complication happen with them and then they were 

Lily: literally running through three different towels, sell the sewers and stuff.

Alyssa: Mm-hmm. , see I don't remember that one per se, but I feel like society did a pretty decent job with them keeping their childhood intact. For the movies that they made. 

Yelena: Yes. For the movies that they made. Yes, for the most [00:09:00] part. Yeah. And then you get to like Brittany and Christina and like, heck even get into like 

Alyssa: Miley.

Alyssa: Yes. Home. Riley Cyrus. 

Lily: Yes. Man. Industry took her by storm. She just, I don't wanna say she was messed up or anything by her career, but like she went through it from, cuz she had everyone looking at her from the audience perspective. And then she had her family as well, pressuring her to do this and that while as she was a child.

Lily: And then when she grew up, it was time for her to go her own way and like she did her 

Alyssa: own thing and she had to completely find herself at that point. Mm-hmm. once she didn't have like the people pressuring her and stuff. Did 

Yelena: you guys ever watch the, the mini documentary that Allison Stoner put out for the industry and kids.

Yelena: No, she's trying to bring together a community to help bring like counselors and stuff like that [00:10:00] on set for the kids. That would be good because she was explaining like how they gonna have that and all of that stuff. And like how a child star turns into a train wreck and she goes into all these details on that.

Yelena: And if you guys wanna watch it, I suggest it. It is on YouTube. 

Alyssa: It's crazy that you bring that up too. Cause I remember being young, this is still in like the two thousands and how this goes back to some of the TV stuff too. Mm-hmm. , I looked up to so many people on TV and was so molded by them that I actually had the chance to audition for Disney Channel at 1.0.

Alyssa: And I got to meet Matthew Underwood. I don't know if you know who that is. Mm-hmm. . He played in Zoe 1 0 1. Oh, the curly hair. 

Yelena: Oh, okay. Wait, you met? 

Alyssa: I can't chase, I can't think of his name on the show. Chase. Wait, you 

Yelena: met Chase or did you meet what's the other kid's name? Because there's two curly hairs on there. [00:11:00] I, I can't remember. Was it the one that Zoe liked or was it the one that ha was always wearing the muscle T-shirts? 

Alyssa: I wanna say it's the one Zoe liked, I think.

Alyssa: I can't remember exactly, but you have to look up his face. . But with this opportunity, like I made it past the first audition and I was supposed to go to Florida and was gonna be able to meet You met the bad one. 

Yelena: Oh, well you met the one . Oh my God. You met the one that went to jail. 

Alyssa: But yeah, I had the chance to do all that.

Alyssa: And looking back at it now, I'm almost glad that I didn't end up following through and going to the second round of auditions because I would've been that person that needed that counselor on set. Mm-hmm. or ended up turning into like some sort of train wreck. Because I was probably like 12 or 

Yelena: 13.

Yelena: Yeah, he was, he was caught with with weed but also with an underage girl. 

Lily: Oh, he's so bad. Cuz he was caught with weed , 

Alyssa: but he 

Yelena: was also found in the bedroom with a stepping. Year [00:12:00] old. Okay. This 

Lily: 17 she grown. 

Yelena: Oh my God, we just got that. Talking about 

Alyssa: this . And that's another thing from growing up in two thousands, relationships like that were so normalized with, oh my God, oh, you're 15 and they're 18 or 15 and 20.

Alyssa: Nobody has 

Lily: cell phones or you know, Snapchat or something like that to ruin your relationship. What's stopping you? But now there's Snapchat and everybody judging each other's relationships. 

Alyssa: Mm-hmm. what? I was 13 with an 18 year old and I thought that it was a hundred percent normal. Totally cool. All things to watch and stuff on TV and everything being sexualized.

Alyssa: I mean, I was still a virgin at that age, but I thought I was some hot shit being 13 with an 18 year old again. 

Yelena: What was it? I was 16 when I got with him, Florida with him when I was 15. But even then I was 16. He would just turned 18 and then he was turning 19. . So, yeah, 

Yelena: I'm gonna throw my brother underneath the[00:13:00]

Yelena: My brother was 18, his girlfriend was 14 in high school. 

Alyssa: Yeah. Isn't it crazy how, like, back then, which two thousands, early 2010s, like that was acceptable. That was, that was okay when we were growing up nowadays. Oh hell no. It, it would not fly. Mm-hmm. like, you are getting shamed and bullied and like your name is just drug through the dirt.

Alyssa: Even if it's as simple as a two year difference. Mm-hmm. , like, it's, 

Lily: that's crazy. Two year difference is getting talk shit about. Yeah. Yeah. 

Alyssa: Like if it's 18 and 16, like a lot of people have issues with it now. Mm-hmm. and back when we were growing up, like it was normal. It was cool. 

Yelena: Mm-hmm. . But yeah, it was just a different era. 

Lily: Yeah. I mean, it wasn't that long ago, 

Yelena: but it was like not, like, not even just to bring up television and then all that. Like we were in the era of the internet [00:14:00] rising and I'm not sure if you guys remember aol , 

Alyssa: aim. 

Yelena: And like chat rooms or I N B U.

Yelena: That's 

Alyssa: yes. Steal a thing today. 1, 2, 3 for me. . . Does anybody else remember that? 

Lily: Because , 

Yelena: I do. You 

Alyssa: would have all these. Internet crushes and start having long distance relationships. Dude,

Yelena: what was it? And back when I was in chat rooms, I shouldn't have been in chat rooms. I was way too young. I was, I still got into the chat rooms. 

Alyssa: Like 

Yelena: it, it, the internet wasn't secure as it, it was then as it is now. Yes. And, when you could have just made an email, made an account with the email, having a, a lied age on it, you were able to get [00:15:00] into the website.

Yelena: That's how I made a MySpace at age 12. Me too. 

Alyssa: Facebook at like 14, which is kind of normal now, but Yeah, it was young then. 

Yelena: I was also making friends and flirting with people in online gaming too. Like I didn't play World of Warcraft, but I played like free versions of that.

Yelena: The flirting in that game was ridiculous. 

Alyssa: That reminds me, , the show, catfish. Oh.

Alyssa: All of those chat rooms and like the gaming and stuff, you'd meet these people and think you're so in love. Mm-hmm. , and most of the time you were getting catfished, but then that show came out and it was almost like, okay, well let's meet someone online just so I can get on tv, have my 15 minutes of fame, like right.

Alyssa: I, I actually talked to Neve once too. because I met someone online who lived in California. So they [00:16:00] were all, you know, all the way across the country. And so I got ahold of Neve and I was actually trying to meet up with them, which by the way was actually, he was trans preferred to be a woman, but still went by both he and she, depending on the day.

Alyssa: But it was before it was all normalized too. So it was kind of like, the whole situation was just kind of weird. But I thought it was all cool and okay, and, you know, I was gonna meet this perfect stranger just because of this show that I was watching as I was growing up. Like, it made me think that everything was okay with it.

Alyssa: Right? It, 

Yelena: it's so crazy. Like the shows wanted to bring awareness. But it just glorified 

Alyssa: everything. Yeah. And then it made people get into those chat rooms more and put like, we probably were in so many dangerous situations. Yes. 

Yelena: Growing up. Yes. I agree. They're, I'm not sure if you know this website, it's now called [00:17:00] Meet Me, but it was called My Yearbook.

Yelena: Were you on 

Alyssa: it? 

Lily: Oh yeah. That's where I met other people's pictures. . 

Alyssa: That's where I met my ex, who we have a child with or I have a child with him now. 

Yelena: I have a couple exes from there too 

Alyssa: actually. That's where I met my, both of my daughter's dad's. 

Yelena: I miss the, my yearbook and my space profile days. Mm-hmm.

Yelena: being able to show your personality. Right. 

Alyssa: You could pick a layout like do We would spend hours making it perfect and the thing was 

Yelena: that we weren't just spending hours like at home on a computer. We were at the library. , 

Alyssa: get this though. This tells you. right here. How bad the two thousands corrupted me as a child.

Alyssa: My MySpace background was the lyrics to fuck me like an animal. Oh my God. Yep. , that's, it was black and purple and had the lyrics on it. 

Lily: I [00:18:00] had the code set, so the cursor was like a heart, and there was like raining hearts on it.

Lily: I got some MySpace beef with this girl, Sydnee . It would be the posts instead of in the messages or in the dms or whatever, it would be, straight posts talking shit about each other. , 

Yelena: before DMing was DMing. 

Lily: Right. And it was just such bullshit , 

Alyssa: I need to look up my MySpace account now, see if it's still around and how cringe it 

Lily: is. 

Alyssa: So one thing though, I do have to say about the two thousands, if you look back at us, the way that we like danced to our music and the way that we dressed and to like young teenagers nowadays. They, the teenagers nowadays dress way more provocative Yes. And more adult-like, and their makeup skills.

Alyssa: Like, I don't even have the makeup skills that some of these teenagers have nowadays. [00:19:00] I know, I don't. And like, just we thought that the two thousands corrupted us, like sexually and stuff. Mm-hmm. . But if you put a side by side picture of us as teenagers and teenagers now, I'm kind of scared. 

Yelena: Jose. We, we had like Happy Bunny and, and Yeah.

Yelena: You 

Lily: remember Happy Bunny? Happy Bunny was like stickers that, yeah. Yeah. 

Yelena: Fuck you. 

Alyssa: or Lisa Frank stickers. Oh, fucking Lisa Frank. We weren't innocent. 

Lily: Or we weren't innocent, but like we were, 

Yelena: we they tried. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, okay. I can, I can get back, I can back behind that. We were playful. Mm-hmm. , now they're trying to rub way too fast.

Alyssa: I think the thing was is a lot of us were like closet freaks. Like we didn't let people know how goofy Yeah. How weird we were or what we were thinking about sexually or [00:20:00]anything like that. They're way more open now. Yeah. They're way more open now. Yes, absolutely. Like my, my nine year old daughter tells me almost every day that she's bisexual and that she likes girls and boys and, you know, I tell her it's okay.

Alyssa: Have the, you know, whole, I accept you for who you are, type of talk. Now if I was nine years old and came out with like, saying that everyone would be like shaming me because it wasn't around, not just like open with sexuality and the way they dance and dress, but. They're so much more open to all different type of things compared to we were very closed off to the world.

Yelena: To the point where we explored it on her own. Yes. In a dangerous way. 

Alyssa: Thank you you knew what I was trying to say, . Yeah. Yeah. And 

Yelena: now these [00:21:00] days it's them exploring, but they have the blueprints. Mm-hmm. . So I don't feel like they're as in danger. But they're still endangered 

Yelena: beauty pageants.

Lily: Oh yeah. My cousins are in beauty pageants. I know, but the, the standards are kind of unrealistic, like. , there's ways to cheat in those and get around the rules and stuff that are set to declare a winner. 

Yelena: I don't want to shame the parents, but I want to shame the community around it. 

Yelena: Because the community around it, the origination of beauty pageants was not probably a pure mine. 

Alyssa: I don't understand why you have to pack on 10 pounds of makeup on a three and 

Yelena: four year old.

Yelena: Exactly. There was this one girl I saw that was bleaching her 

Lily: daughter's 

Alyssa: [00:22:00] eyebrows. Like, why are you gonna hold them to those beauty standards, . I will never put my kids through stuff like that just because I know how beauty standards were for me growing up. Like I don't wanna hold my kids to them and then make them feel like they're not good enough.

Alyssa: If they don't win or don't meet certain expectations, that's gonna almost give them a complex of not being good enough or not being able to achieve what you're supposed to or letting people down 

Yelena: of society. 

Alyssa: Right, right. I feel like pageants are almost bottling up how we felt growing up and putting it into reality for kids nowadays to actually go through.

Yelena: Yeah, I can see that. I can see that. And let's not forget all of those creeps 

Lily: so much beauty. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Like they, what's the point of putting kids in bikinis and having them walk around if not for a sexual reason. That's, that's why I think I see your point of , it can't be a pure mind [00:23:00] putting that together because , what are you looking at kind of thing.

Alyssa: Mm-hmm. , I get the talent competition part or the dress part. Right. You know, dressing 'em up in a pretty ballgown type of thing. But there shouldn't be a swimsuit section. Exactly. They're children. I get it for Miss America or whatever, they're adults. They can make up their own mind if they wanna be in those pageants or not.

Alyssa: But children, why expose them , yeah, dress 'em up in a beautiful dress, do their hair, you know, have 'em do a talent competition. But why does it need to go past that? I don't know. And it could just be the way that our brains. kind of normalize things or think about things from how we grew up.

Yelena: I, I also believe a lot of the girls that are in the beauty pageants, like the young ones mm-hmm. , I believe if Fullheartedly, it's one of the parents living a dream through their child, most likely. Which is not fair on the child at all. 

Alyssa: [00:24:00] That's, and this is gonna sound awful, but , I get where you're coming from because I always wished that my parents put me through gymnastics more than just a year.

Alyssa: And so as soon as my daughter was old enough, I started teaching her gymnastics, started teaching her like the proper forms, got her in classes and all of that. And then finally after like two or three years of being in gymnastics, she was like, mom, I don't really wanna do this. And then I felt guilty because I'm like, did I pretty much make her do this because I wanted to and didn't get the chance?

Alyssa: Or was I doing it thinking about her best interest? And so with the beauty pageants, I can totally see that you putting your child through that because you wanted to do it or you wanted to be the most beautiful, popular person in the room and now you're living that life out through your children.

Yelena: Do you think your peers pressured you into any type of, like, look, [00:25:00] any type of, I have a 

Lily: story. Go right ahead, Lily. . So it's kind of losing my virginity story, but it was over the phone. So it has to do with the pierce thing too, because when I was in high school, I was with this guy and he was like, have you ever fingered yourself?

Lily: And I was like, no. And I gave him my dad's phone number and he asked, and then he, like, we had phone sex basically, but he told me to finger myself. And I was like, yeah, I guess I'll do it, but I don't know how. And he was like, you just stick one finger in and then two, and then da, da da. And I'm like, okay.

Lily: Well, I ended up doing it, but that was like completely all his fault, . 

Yelena: It was all his pressure and his pressure and stuff 

Lily: like that. Yeah. So he was like, how am I supposed to fuck you if you never hit anything in there? Da, da, da. So he basically peer pressured me into like, masturbating. 

Yelena: That's insane.

Yelena: That's insane. 

Alyssa: Yeah. That's [00:26:00] wow. 

Yelena: I'll say I have a story, but this, this happened, I was younger, young, but I knew about sex at a very, very, very, very young age, unfortunately. My uncle was dating this woman and she had a daughter, well that daughter one day was like, Hey, won't play Barbie's.

Yelena: And I was like, yeah, sure. Play Barbie's normal. And then she takes the Barbie's leg and takes the foot to her crotch. I didn't know what was happening and she just convinced me to do the same thing. And you were like in elementary school? Oh yeah. So even then, peer pressure is such a severe thing. E at a young age.

Alyssa: I didn't have peer pressure, like in a sexual aspect until I was a little farther in life. Mm-hmm. , like more 16 and older. Mm-hmm. . But I remember the one instance [00:27:00] specifically was when I was 16 and we had a two hour delay before school. And I was, I was a cheerleader and I had a wide variety of friends, but one of my really good friends was on the football team, the quarterback of the football team.

Alyssa: And he came over and we were hanging out and he was like, Y your siblings are driving me nuts. Like, can we just go upstairs and hang out? And I'm like, yeah, you know, let's do it. Not thinking anything of it. And the next thing I know, like I'm getting forced into doing this stuff that I don't wanna do, like sexually 

Alyssa: He just kept telling me like you should want to sleep with me. Like, all the girls want to, you know, like, I don't know why you're being so difficult about this. 

Yelena: And I would've slapped him. Silly. 

Alyssa: It. Yeah. I, I ended up getting all my classes changed and graduated high school early because of it.

Alyssa: Oh, good. Because our school was so small that there wasn't avoiding being in his classes. We had like 60 people in our graduating [00:28:00] class. I had 

Yelena: 16 . 

Alyssa: Oh, I forgot your school was even smaller. Yeah. But like the pressure, the, and then going into school, like, I remember being in a couple of his classes and him telling people like, oh yeah, like I, I got it in with her this morning.

Alyssa: And I'm telling my friends like, look, the worst type of shit just happened to me this morning. , but by the way, people were coming up and talking to me, I had to blow it off and actually get pressured into not taking him to court, not filing a report, not doing anything I should have done because of people telling me that I should have been happy about it.

Alyssa: I should have been proud about it because he was the quarterback, he was this super popular person and it's just, it's kind of fucked up on how people put those thoughts in my head that like, I was gonna be a bad person if I reported it. 

Yelena: No, I get that. I didn't report my abuser because, well, [00:29:00] I had a couple of abusers, but my main abuser, I didn't report to him because he was threatening me in my family's life.

Yelena: So I was like, I'm not gonna deal with that. 

Lily: Oh. But people know still, you're close friends and people know though. Mm-hmm. not to mess with them. 

Yelena: I had to put up a boundary recently because A friend of mine, well not a friend anymore, he is still friends with my abuser and he could not grasp the conversation I was having with him, telling him that I couldn't be friends with him because of that.

Yelena: And he was trying to pressure me into being his friend still saying stuff like we need to move past the past. You need to let go of the hatred and you need to do all this stuff. And I was like, I don't even need to do any of that. This, you're not the one who had any of the complications I'd had with this person.

Yelena: Right. So once they started treating you like shit and you stopped being friends with them, [00:30:00] then come talk to me cuz then you would 

Alyssa: know. Yeah, peer pressure was awful growing up. Not even just with stuff like that, like it almost makes you. Feel guilty if you don't do what they want you to do.

Alyssa: Growing up, I think I was 13 the first time I tried smoking a cigarette, started drinking because my parents would be having a party and my friends would come over and we would sit on the roof right outside my bedroom window stealing their alcohol and cigarettes, because I was told that that's how I could stay in the friend group.

Alyssa: That's how I could be cool. That sucks. And now what is this, 15 years later and, and you're vaping? Yeah. Yeah. I, I still addicted to the nicotine. It's kind of messed up. 

Yelena: Do not give it the peer pressure. Yeah. 

Alyssa: Yeah. and peer pressure can come in all sorts of different ways too, not just.

Alyssa: With what you wear or sexually or [00:31:00] smoking or drinking. Don't 

Yelena: forget, peer pressure also has family members. 

Alyssa: Yes. Yes. It can come in all sorts of things. Even if it's as simple as eating a food you don't want to eat, I feel like it was intense growing up. I think peer pressure nowadays has kind of chilled a little.

Alyssa: Or maybe that's just, it could be my perspective. Yeah, 

Yelena: it could be just our perspective since we're older now. Yeah. 

Lily: But it's easier to stay away from people cuz we're not stuck in school. Like forced to be around people that we wouldn't normally be around.. . 

Alyssa: And we learn how to set boundaries as we get older.

Yelena: Well, everyone should learn how to set boundaries. They will hurt and they will make you cry, but you need to set. boundaries to protect yourself? Yes. Mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually,

Yelena: if you have a gut feeling, go with your gut. If something's wrong, go with your gut. [00:32:00] Even another thing in the workplace with peer pressure. Mm-hmm. , like people pressuring you to do their job or trying to guilt you into taking their shift. . . 

Alyssa: When I was in the medical field, I dealt with that more than anything.

Yelena: Oh, bet. Medical 

Lily: field's tough. Yeah. Short staffed everywhere. 

Yelena: And it sucks because , I feel like I wanna be as short staffed if. . 

Alyssa: It wasn't like being in high school all over again. Yeah, yeah. 

Yelena: Holy shit. Grey's Anatomy's onto something. Oh my god. Grey's Anatomy's. Just high school hospital, 

Alyssa: right.

Alyssa: That's what it should be called. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Grey's Anatomy. I've seen it all multiple times, , I'm gonna rename it that, that's the new name. High School Hospital. High School Hospital. . But you know, it's still 

Yelena: a bunch of 

Lily: drama and mm-hmm. ,

[00:33:00] Sponsor Message: Camfanatics.com [00:34:00]

Lily: kids these days, they don't know nothing about sexual innuendos and, and Disney movies. 

Alyssa: what? Disney was a perv man. 

Yelena: His his animators were pers too. Yeah. 

Alyssa: Like you say, little Mermaid. 

Lily: Little Mermaid. They were on the ship in Prince Erics little wey popped up for a second. It was the 

priest. 

Yelena: The priest?

Yelena: Yeah. It was the priest. That was Mary and Prince. Eric And the Vanessa. 

Alyssa: Isn't it weird? Look at your favorite movie from growing up. Mine was Cinderella, all the little Disney movies we watched growing up. If we go back and watch them now, I guarantee you we'll find a bunch of different, sexual innuendos I understand 

Yelena: they hadn't put like some adult stuff in there to keep the adults entertained.

Yelena: Mm-hmm. . But like they could have done it with other humor. Than's, [00:35:00] sexual, right. 

Alyssa: Let's sexualize all the Disney princesses. 

Yelena: I think the worst sexualized princess, I think to date is probably Pocahontas. Okay. What I wanna know like why, why? Because in the cartoon they aged her because she was like 13 or 14 when she married John.

Yelena: But in the Pocahontas movie, movie, they made her like, they didn't even need to say her age. They just made her about like 16, 17.

Yelena: But John Smith himself is a grown man. Hmm. He's like in his late twenties 

Alyssa: again, showing how, like when we were growing up, that age gap was okay. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . 

Yelena: . Have 

Alyssa: you noticed with a lot of the movies we watched as kids in growing up, how almost all the woman had to be , dependent on a man? There wasn't very [00:36:00] money independent woman. Yeah.

Yelena: Not until like later on you don't see independent women in Disney until like Tangled 

Alyssa: And then they're like, oh, hey, let's make the woman independent. Like, what? What's 

Yelena: or Brave? Brave is super independent. 

Alyssa: I just watched that recently. Actually. 

Yelena: Oh my god. You imagine a website that has just reality TV show, just random people 

Lily: that we lit and be like, wipe out, have a different I was thinking Wally, big Brother. Oh yeah. Or something 

Alyssa: like that.

Alyssa: Or Jersey Shore. Jersey 

Lily: Shore. 

Alyssa: We didn't even think about that. We didn't think about Jersey Shore, like growing up in the two thousands watching Jersey Shore. Like they sexualized the hell out of everything. 

Lily: Did. They're having sex on camera on that show, 

Alyssa: right?

Alyssa: They, someone was always walking in on someone that they were banging that they met at the club 

Lily: and they made a sex chart of everyone in the house and they're like, yep, it looks like we all fucked each other oh my god, they made a chart.

Lily: I think Snooky made 

Alyssa: a chart. And [00:37:00] you wonder why Snooky nowadays when people are like, oh yeah, I've slept with 30, 40 people. , they're like, oh, that's it. I'm a little behind. So that number may have been a little high, but it was just, I was using it as an example, that's numbers from our generation and then people now that are like just getting into adulthood, they're like, oh.

Alyssa: I've, I've only slept with one person and it's been someone I've been with for seven years and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, man, we were all whores, , . We 

Yelena: were all horse growing up. Hey, wait, we, we were let on . We were let on were alls. 

Alyssa: We were let on that it was what was on tv. It's what was popular, so we had to do it too.

Alyssa: peer pressure, , 

Yelena: I think the growing up I had this best friend, not friends anymore, but she was like [00:38:00] the biggest peer pressure in my life. I didn't realize that until after we weren't friends anymore. Like I did things just so that I knew she was safe because she was out doing something 

Alyssa: drastic like.

Yelena: going out with her 26 year old boyfriend when she was 18. Well, he just got home from the bar, so he's driving drunk and crazy going up on people's front 

Alyssa: lawns. My 

Lily: goodness. Oh my God. He drove on people's front lawns. Yeah, he did. And 

Yelena: I was in the car because I was like, I gotta be there for my, my chick.

Yelena: That's my homegirl. 

Lily: I used to let my friends drive my mom's car that didn't have a license and he ran over a stop sign over at the stop sign or past a stop sign? No, he ran over the stop sign. He like went to drift around this corner while it was raining. He like popped the curb and went over the stop sign.

Lily: Yeah. And we ended up in somebody's front yard. So I was like, oh my [00:39:00] God. Drive away. Drive away. . So he had like half the curve again and drove in this little roundabout. I was like, I'm 

Alyssa: driving now. I I'm just saying like, if that hap How many years ago did that 

Lily: happen? . It was at least 10 years ago because I'm 26 now, and it was when I first started driving, so I think I was 16, so it was 

Alyssa: about 10 years ago.

Alyssa: So imagine doing that now. You would have a cop on your ass in seconds. I don't 

Lily: know. It depends on, it was in a side neighborhood, so like, so maybe not. But I thought a cop was gonna come around the corner like immediately because of where I was in the, in the where I was. I just thought there was gonna be a cop there, but there wasn't.

Lily: Hmm. I never got caught. Well, I didn't get caught by a cop. I got caught by my mom. My mom's like, what happened in my car? I was like, my friend ran over at stop sign. Well, why was he driving ? I had to explain that one. 

Alyssa: I have a story about driving with a stop sign, but my point [00:40:00] of the story I'm going to tell is as we were growing up, I think that people were a lot more trusting.

Alyssa: Yeah. than people are now, for example, like mm-hmm. , this is that story. I was at my friend's house and we were going to the movies and she had her license and I only had my temps, I didn't have my license yet. Mm-hmm. . But her parents trusted me to drive their car more than her because I was more mature than her and yada yada.

Alyssa: And so we, you know, we got to the mall. Okay. Back in the days when you still went to the mall to hang out with people, because that was the hangout when I was growing up, was going to a mall and we watched the movie and then afterwards we smoked a little bit mm-hmm. and there was this stop sign that was only a couple miles away from her house at that point, and it was the one that like flashed red.

Alyssa: Oh yeah. And I literally sat at that stop sign waiting for it to turn green. 

Lily: Oh yeah. [00:41:00]

Yelena: But like they

Alyssa: trusted me so much to take their car and then I just sat there. How, how are you waiting? Like , you know, I don't know. I feel like trust just isn't a thing anymore. Like people have so many trust issues. 

Lily: Yeah.

Lily: I definitely broke my mom's trust multiple times in high school. I don't know, I think that's just was like jealous of my friends that were like older than me that had cars like that. They paid for and like, I didn't have a car so I just stole my mom's like whenever I felt like it. Just because mm-hmm.

Lily: and like she ended up taking the key from me, but I copied the key and I tried to use the copy to start in a den work . I like screwed up the ignition too, so they like ended up drunk. Junking the car, , . 

Yelena: We could have just got a new 

Lily: ignition. Yeah. But there was a bunch of stuff wrong with it. I crashed that car into the we used to have a [00:42:00] basketball hoop.

Lily: And like in our front driveway. And I was swerving to dodge this motorcycle that was parked behind the s u v. So I was gonna park where the motorcycle was and I was like, oh my gosh, there's a car there. And I swerved and I crashed into the crashed to like crunched the whole front of the end of this car into the basketball hoop.

Lily: I think our parents trusted us more than parents Trust the kids now. 

Alyssa: Yes. At least in my experience. 

Yelena: I gas lit my mom a lot. She, I feel like she knew a lot more was going on with me and my boyfriend than she wanted to confront me about. Yeah. So I feel like that trust was like damaged. 

Lily: My mom knew too. She never wanted to take me to my boyfriend's house.

Lily: She knew it was a, my dad always was the one taking me out there. . 

Alyssa: See, I was really open with my mom, not necessarily my dad. I never really had a relationship with him very well, but [00:43:00] I was really open with my mom and told her pretty much everything I was doing. Like when I lost my virginity, staying the night at my best friend's house, she knew she had an older brother.

Alyssa: She knew that me and her older brother were in a relationship at one point. and she still let me stay over there. She knew that it was an option that I could have lost my virginity that weekend. And when I came home, I told her right away, like, look mom, this is what happened. And I'm pretty sure she asked me if I used a condom and when I told her yeah.

Alyssa: She handed me

Lily: 20 bucks for more condoms. Yeah, 

Alyssa: Well, probably . But the thing is, the thing is, is I told her I did, my mom 

Yelena: didn't find out till two years later, 

Alyssa: soon she realized that I didn't because I ended up getting pregnant. But . 

Yelena: But you 

Lily: know,

Alyssa: Other than the one little telling her I used a condom and didn't , I was very open with her, very open and honest. 

Yelena: All right. So [00:44:00] we talked about television, body image, music, peers, and next week we are going to be discussing, a little bit of our sexual legs. We're going to get into our threesome stories and our partner stories.

Alyssa: What turns us on, what turns us off, 

Yelena: what our boundaries, what's consent. So come in and join us for that episode and until then, we are Vixen Vine. I am Elena. 

Alyssa: I am Melissa. And I'm 

Lily: Lily.